A cheery bubblegum SNL music video starring Cecily Strong, Kate McKinnon, Aidy Bryant, and host Saoirse Ronan looks like it’ll be a delightful sendup of Katy Perry circa “Teenage Dream.” But listen to the words, and it’s anything but.
“Hey there boys, we know the last couple months have been frickin’ insane,” Strong opens in a dumb, pouty drawl.
“All these big, cool, powerful guys are turning out to be, what’s the word? ‘Habitual predators’?” Bryant adds with an affected airhead inflection.
“Cat’s out of the bag! Women get harassed all the time!” giggles McKinnon.
It’s terrifying, what’s happening. Men suddenly becoming lechers and getting fired for sexual assault and harassment in the workplace. Could this be the world now?
Yeah. Ask any woman, and she’ll tell you. It’s been the damn world.
“Welcome to Hell. Now we’re all in here,” the four ladies sing.
They’re not a girl group, mind you. They just travel in a pack for safety, Bryant advises.
They carry keys in their fists like makeshift brass knuckles to fight off would-be attackers.
They stay on constant guard against being followed, keep an eye out for creepy guys in trench coats, potential traps.
They are women.
“But you do know that it’s like a million times worse for a woman of color, right?” Leslie Jones interjects. Yes, they do.
House of Cards may be ruined after allegations that Kevin Spacey has been a sexual predator for decades, but you know what’s been ruined for women?
“Parking and walking and Uber and ponytails, bath robes and nighttime and drinking and hotels, and vans.”
So welcome, everyone, to the nightmare. Women have been living it for thousands of years.